there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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