chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
