Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
