Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
