I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
