Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i think my tv is drunk
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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