She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Your shirt... Was in my pants
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
