i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
