Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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