I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
