ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
