Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Dick very happy bro
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
