Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
