A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
