bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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