they need to just BURY HIM!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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