:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
