did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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