some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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