I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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