who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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