when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
