Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
