You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
