I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
