I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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