I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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