The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
