Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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