I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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