Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize