a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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