you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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