8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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