I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
