Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
