dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
