he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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