Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize