K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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