My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
