ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
