dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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