Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
