i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's official drugs can't kill me
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
