I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize