And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
