how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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