she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
