i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
