the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
