i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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