just come out here and I will go home with you...
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
lets start a swedish sibling band together
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
