I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
