Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
