remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
