i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
