Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
