how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
