Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
