Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
