2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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