Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
