im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
