I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
