I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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