I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
