Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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